This link is a gift to all of us, not just teachers to deal with stress.

As we near the 1st month anniversary of the massacre of the Newtown children, I chose to listen to this beautiful song sung by Three Dog Night.
I loved the words, “Can you feel the prayer of the children…with hope for a better day…a better day…”

The morning of the shooting, I felt a deep tiredness and unsettledness. I went back to bed which is something I never do that early.I had no energy whatsoever. When I intuitively looked back at it later after I heard the sad horrific news I received the message that my spirit was helping the children to pass to the other side. Helping souls pass over the veil to the other side is something I know I do during my nighttime “travels”. I also saw the truth that all these chidren were indeed angels on earth in their unique special ways…you only had to listen to the parent’s accounts of their beautiful little souls. If you had ever walked into their classroom, you would have felt the pureness of spirit there…a place of heaven on earth….

I ask that we continue to hold these families and the first responders and now the counselors who are helping them in our loving prayers. These children’s deaths brought so many people on this earth to their knees and into their hearts. Now we have the opportunity to work toward greater love and greater peace on this earth in our own individual ways. We are one with all others and we must hold even those with different opinions in our loving embrace for someday that action will promote greater peace and love on this earth.

So when you hear of the many heart-wrenching events all over the world including our own multiple murders at the Batman movie and the Sikh Temple remember to use your positive beliefs. The belief I have been focusing on this past week in response to such events is: “We are all sons and daughters of the Universe.  We are all one.”

When we separate from our God light, we dwell in fear and extreme fear leads us to be suceptible to the mindset that others are our enemies.  In this group mentality similar to that stirred up in Hitler’s regime, we think of solutions to this fear.   These solutions are aimed at others as the enemy and can be stimulated even more in hate groups on the internet.

We can counteract this fear by staying in our own openness to being one with those people who inflict such wounds on others.  They are a part of us. They are our brothers and sisters no matter how much their fear has led them down a path of hatred and murder.

I personally wrap the perpetrator and all others on earth like him/her in a blanket of light. I picture them as innocent as when they were an infant and wrap them in unconditional love.  I feel that somehow, my energy goes out to minister to them and creates a calmness for that moment in their souls.  Perhaps that day, my sending them love also sends them an  experience which causes them to question their views even a tiny bit…

I try to move from being overwhelmed and angry at the event I hear about to becoming an EMT (something I secretly always wanted to be!). I go into action, trying to send love “oxygen” and “transfusions” to everyone I think needs it, both victims and perpetrators.  I do not stay in a state of shock long because I am needed!  And so are you!  Your prayers and actions are needed more than you could ever imagine!

If you ask your angels and guides they will help you to hold the truth on this earth:  The beliefs to hold: We are all one. We are all loved equally by the Creator. There is nothing we could ever do to put us outside of God’s love. There is only fear or love. We will not be whole and complete until every soul on this earth is freed from hate and enters into a path of love…for self and for all others. We need to do our part to be in the truth of who we are, love.

My older sister just called to tell me of a lovely ecumenical church service held in Milwaukee where they all prayed for those traumatized in the Sikh killing. It was a symbol of solidarity with the Sikhs and all God’s children including the man who acted in this murderous way.

So join with me in being an EMT (Enlightened Mercy Tool or Energy Medicine Technician) when you hear or think of any kind of negative situation. Ask the angels to see you as a tool to ground the light on this earth and ask for a shaft of light to enter through you and spread to all others.  Actions from these positive beliefs do create miracles.  You are so loved!

As a psychotherapist and intuitive life coach, I listen throughout the day to concerns from my clients regarding life purpose, relationships, health and general lack of fulfillment issues. There is a feeling of disappointment that somehow their actions so far haven’t resulted in their dreams being realized. Yet, simultaneously, they express a desire to believe that joy is possible.   

We all have hindsight for valuable lessons learned from challenging and disappointing situations. We know how to make lemonade out of lemons. We have increased self love, sharpened our discernment and even forgave ourselves or others.  Yet, the questions continue: “When will my job or mate or good health appear? We hesitate to take actions of leaving jobs or relationships because we question whether giving up “some” good is better than risking having nothing at all. We don’t feel 100% confident that we have the right to disappoint others involved if we pursue our own happiness. With this “formula” for living life, our energy lessens. We feel depressed and confused about how life is supposed to work. Sometimes we even “self-medicate” to feel better through addictive highs.

Building a new formula that will activate your “Believing DNA” is essential!  This high vibration welcomes all goodness into your life. Right now is the perfect time to believe!

Here are some of my favorite ways to “Activate Your Believing DNA!”

• Begin This Moment: “I have this moment to feel happy. My positive feelings draw to me the fun and rewarding things I enjoy.  Source’s very nature is to provide for my needs especially my soul’s passion. I allow support in this life to have great freedom to pursue my dreams.”

• Nurture your faith no matter how small:  A simple prayer of two seconds will help you create new thoughts.  “Spirit, I place my small faith in your hands.  Help it to grow. Help me to allow the belief that I deserve assistance, that my dreams are precious. Help me release anything that is draining my abundance.”

• Create a great relationship with yourself!   If you want a great relationship, have one with yourself first.  This was my motto through six years of being single. I wanted to meet a mate that would be “the one” therefore I knew that I needed an unconditionally loving relationship with myself. I needed to accept my human imperfections, my changing weight, and my less than perfect days. I also needed to notice my unique qualities.  I developed self-kindness, self-truth and self-justice in life situations.  Deciding against the dating sites, I simply asked spirit to match me in the perfect time and way. I even asked for the meeting to be fun and humorous!   

In February, I boarded a Southwest flight for Kansas via Nashville. I realized my queue number in the C group was the last to board. Finally, I boarded, chanting the number of my seat in order to remember it as I no longer had my boarding pass. I walked up surprised to find a man already in my seat.  When I told him that he was in MY seat, he replied that he didn’t think so! Explaining that there are no assigned seats on Southwest, he offered the seat to his side which I took. I pulled out my book, The Alchemist, and began to read.  He remarked “Good book!” and pulled his book out by the same author.  A long two hour conversation followed.  This was the start of a romantic soul-mate connection that continues to this day.

• Live with Integrity.  A simple definition of integrity is to never say yes when your truth is to say no! Take time to listen to your truth in quiet meditation. Ask for confirmation from spirit.  Your inner guidance is trustworthy. A coaching client, “Sam” did not feel he was an “honorable man” if he left his difficult marriage of thirty years. She had no interest in counseling. In a coaching session with me, his guides (channeled through me) asked whether his beliefs had served him. He realized that he would be living in more integrity to change “until death do us part” to “until truth do us part”. He saw the growth opportunity in separate lives and came to peace with his decision.

• Don’t Judge Self or Others!    Angels and guides working through me in sessions will say, “See yourself through our eyes.”  Judgment is not possible in the spirit world.  Spirit only views “negative” actions as simply coming from fear.  There is nothing you could ever think, say or do that would put you outside of divine love. The beauty of the earth is that we are all holding different truths that are right for us in that moment.  There is room for a million spiritual books on divorce for example, because they will all hold a different message. There are that many different perspectives.  Attempt to instantly see a blessing in another’s views and actions. For example, if you see graffiti, instead of being upset, instantly choose to see it as someone’s expression of art.   

• Put The Windshield Wipers On to Clear the Worry!  My angels tell me constantly that my life is in perfection. I have exactly what I need for my soul growth. The sooner I embrace the lessons, the quicker they resolve. To focus with worry is actually praying for negative results in the future.  Use those windshield wipers when the worry raindrops appear! Clear your life view on the road ahead with words of love and prayers of faith.

• Live Your Joy:  Make strong choices towards those things that energize and inspire you. There is strong manifesting alchemy when decisions are made from deep desires. Recently I had the honor of helping two women from Uganda during their stay here. One of the women had both hands severed by a jealous family member who also killed her husband in the attack. Luckily a motorcyclist happened by and took her to the hospital.  My friend, Martha Hoffman’s Call to Care Uganda, non-profit helping families in Uganda, met her during a visit to a Ugandan orphanage. Martha also “happened” to meet a nurse upon her return home who was interested in helping to find prosthetics for those in need.  A doctor from NYC agreed to help and a prosthetic company agreed to supply the new prosthetic hands. It was a miracle of such coincidences and it happened so effortlessly! Soon this woman will be heading home to Uganda, capable of greater self sufficiency.

• Use Your Sleep Time:  Prior to sleep, envision the situation as if it has already been healed or manifested. In sleep there are no barriers of ego or time. You can rapidly move into a solution. Imagine the highest souls of all concerned meeting around a conference table to come up with a better plan or resolution.  When you awake, you will feel refreshed and confident that a resolution has speeded up.

If you have difficulty in believing, you probably need to increase “miracles” in your life!  Begin to experiment with these suggestions or with ones of your own! Source energy is a generous and loving energy whose very nature desires to bestow all of your deepest desires.

Develop your own ways to “Activate your Beliefs!” What works to give you faith and hope? Visit my website and read other stories about people who “chose to believe.” Power up your Believing DNA and share your success stories with me!

Sharon Massoth is a psychotherapist, intuitive coach and spiritual teacher living in CT with workshops in Hartford and Madison.  For almost thirty years she has provided life coaching with the help of clairaudient and clairvoyant messages from the spiritual world. These intuitive messages zero in on the core issues of what is creating health, relationship, career and other challenges.  For more information about her classes and sessions visit  www.sharonmassoth.com  203 245 0084, or email Sharon at massoth@comcast.net.

Dear Sam,

My response is to choose love as your response to this situation. This may seem like a tall and perhaps inappropriate order. There are times when anger is the right initial response. Yet over time, anger and fear creates great stress on the heart while calm loving thoughts create heart resonance. Attempt to see the situation “through angel, God or “wise eyes”. See the challenges with your ex-wife as necessary for growth. Marvel at the new responses you were able to develop. As you increase your coping abilities, you sunk your roots more deeply into the soil of life and now you can send out even stronger limbs into the skies. When you burn with resentment or anger at her, its impossible to feel happy. When you incrementally move towards more loving wise responses, you feel better. That’s because you are in harmony with your true spiritual self which is all loving.

When I tune into your soul, I hear that you would not want to be without the valuable lesson you have learned. I also feel that out of your learning, you have drawn to you a great new relationship. She is a winner as are you. I hope you celebrate what you have created for yourself this Valentine’s Day.

A final quote:

“The mystery of life is that you can only truly know yourself through love of others, and you can only truly know others through love of self.. A good question to ask is What can I do for myself that will bring the greatest good to others? And What can I do for others that will bring the greatest good for myself?” (www.lovewithoutend.com)

Have a blessed Valentine’s Day.

Dear John,

I coach a lot of men in relationship areas. Men love facts and and here are a few that might help.

Its partially about body chemistry. You possibly have a high testosterone level and that can spell trouble in ways you may not understand. (Look down: If your ring finger is longer than your index finger, it indicates a high testosterone level.) In love, you are not exactly blind but your vision can be blurred. A recent British study showed that men who were sexually stimulated by pictures of pretty women (as opposed to the poor subjects who only had landscape pictures to view) were more likely to accept an unfair business offer. Their discernment was thrown off.

When you are in a new relationship and feel “in love” the part of your brain associated with social assessment is more dormant. Your response to your inner negative feelings is dulled. It can spell disaster for your ability to slow down and commit slowly over time. I also see that you are a typical male “rescuer” of the damsel in distress. That has its good qualities, however, remember that you need to be loved for who you are, not for how you help a woman.

A few other facts: Studies have also shown that serotonin levels decrease by up to 40 % in the newly ” in- love”, causing some to show signs of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) which is why you can’t get the other person out of your head. Your dopamine level, the neurotransmitter associated with addictive behavior increases very similarly to a gambler expecting to win the jackpot, only in this case to win your wife so you could feel a relief and stabilization of your chemistry. It follows that when your relationship ends, you experience symptoms similar to an addict’s withdrawal. Your dopamine levels go down, so you feel depressed.

In short, people have to be in charge of their body chemistry when they meet a new person and when they break up. I hope that I don’t sound too “clinical” about your situation. It is simply a matter of watching that romantic nature of yours and the rescuer role you often play. The good news is that from here on out, you will have sharpened your sixth sense and not let yourself override that “first hit, best hit” intuition of yours.

Dear Wendy,

Intuitively, I feel that you are an extremely loving person who just got off track. You just need a little tweaking! You have a lot of love to give another person and I am so glad to remind you to start with yourself.

It doesn’t seem fair, but the needier we are the more we repel others. It is a very simple solution. Shift your need for other people’s attention to self nurturing.. The more we feel needy and try to force something to happen we usually set up a resistance field. Your magnetizing energy has temporarily flipped to REPEL mode. Other people’s intuitive systems have picked up your “over” neediness and the healthy ones are choosing not to respond.

To jumpstart the self nurturing, think about how you encourage a child.. Nurturing remarks throughout the day such as how kind, intelligent, special, beautiful handsome or talented you are is exactly the diet to feed yourself. You are just temporarily dried up. Also I don’t feel you are expressing yourself in enough creative ways. You have a great way of being a hostess with the mostest. How about volunteering at a one time event as a greeter or handing out tickets? A sister of a friend recently did that at the Golden Globe awards! Whenever I am feeling low, I often realized that I have stopped doing my intuitive groups or speaking engagements which fuel me.

A blunt but good question to ask ourselves is, ” Well, why in the world would someone invite me to a gathering? When you have a great relationship with yourself and a way to feel sourced inside and out, you don’t have to lift a finger to get invitations. People who organize events always think of the fun loving spirits that will keep the mood upbeat. They would almost pay you for to attend!

Believe in yourself, You are a gift like no other.

Dear Sandra,

Intuitively, I feel that you are very close to meeting someone. You do a lot for others and I feel the only item left to master is to become more balanced with giving and receiving. It will make your vibration softer and more receptive. Right now your energy feels more like one of a martyr than a lively romantic woman about ready to meet her mate.

Re: your fear of whether there is a man for you. First of all, the very fact that you desire a man for the fabulous human experience of love IS the evidence that there is a man for you. When a desire comes from “God” territory, the soul, it is not a frivolous wish to be granted or not granted from an outside source. You create your life through your soul desires to have the wonderful experience of love and you signal your readiness by being full of anticipation and love for yourself.

Rev up your magnetizing power by being positive about your worth, expectant and grateful for all the fun and loving experiences awaiting you.

Take risks! Go to gatherings of interest to you …alone or with a friend but circulate. . Listen attentively to your intuition about where to go. I picture romance angels guiding me to the right spot since this is such an important mission certainly not left up to chance. Oh, and don’t forget to put the turtlenecks away. A recent t.v. show coaching singles to meet others showed how styles revealing your neck and collarbone area signals to men that you are able to be vulnerable. Keep the arms unfolded as well.

If the hard economic times have put some stress and strain into your marriage, maybe you and your mate could use a little brunch therapy.

That’s right. Take some time off on a weekend morning and have a cup of self-esteem with that buttery croissant, or add a dash of positive thinking to your sunny-side-up eggs.

That’s the idea of the Couples’ Cafe, the brainchild of Sharon Massoth of Madison, a licensed psychotherapist, interfaith minister and certified professional coach, who has been working with individuals and couples for 34 years. She’s beginning a series of Sunday morning two-hour brunches for up to 12 couples, which include spiritual inspiration, as well as a chance to appreciate each other and learn some tips for coping.

The brunches will take place at Chestnut Fine Foods & Confections at 1012 State St. in New Haven, and there, among the atmosphere of soft jazz, good food and light-hearted inspiration, Massoth hopes she can help couples remember how much they love and treasure each other, and learn some skills for keeping their relationships alive.

“I see how couples get tense with each other in these tough times,” Massoth says. “With so much fear around, they start to take it out on each other. People are worried about unemployment and overspending, and they need to come up with creative ways to keep their relationships thriving.”

Massoth works with groups a lot, she says, but has found that typically, men aren’t as comfortable with introspective work in a group setting. At many of her other groups, she says, there will be 20 women, but just one lone man. She’s hoping to make this a safe and fun place for men as well as women. “There will be exercises and activities — all very nonthreatening,” she says with a laugh. “Men will have buddies there, and, as they know, there’s safety in numbers.”

Some social science experts have claimed that the recession has made it impossible for couples who wish to separate to do so. Indeed, Massoth says she hears from people all the time about their desire to figure out solutions to their marital problems, rather than separate.

“Couples who are ‘on the rocks’ are talking openly to me about the fact that divorce would be a financial disaster for them right now,” she says. “So rather than let things get to that point, I’m hoping that couples can learn to spend time nurturing themselves and each other. And, with the cost of marriage counseling often being beyond what people can afford, I hope that offering some counseling services in a group, over brunch, will help people preserve this most valuable asset, their marriage.”

Massoth decided on offering this at Chestnut after she was telling her friend, Patty Walker, owner of the cafe about her desire to help couples who are struggling. Walker pointed out that the cafe’s closed on Sundays, so Massoth could use the whole space for her brunches.

“One of the things that this cafe is known for is the nurturing love they give to their customers, along with the nurturing food,” Massoth adds. “Just being in there is like therapy.”

Massoth intends to help couples move from a state of fear back into a state of love — for themselves and each other. “I’m going to teach couples how to reconnect with gratitude, through using a gratitude journal. I’ll ask them to do couples’ outings where they connect with their sense of spirit. I hope these exercises can give them a sense of their greater, more powerful self that is their loving soul.”

Some of the topics include ways that women can communicate so that men can hear them, how it is that the law of attraction can create a better relationship and bring about remedies and healing, and how creating one’s own happiness is essential for being happy as a couple.

For those who might be reticent, Massoth says that she won’t be asking people to disclose to the group anything that would make them uncomfortable. “They can ask questions to me anonymously if they wish,” she says, “and there will be time to meet with me privately, as a couple, to talk briefly. Basically, I hope to give them skills they can take back home and use. I’m hoping we can meet every six weeks, and that they can see the progress they can make.”

Kara Gagnon of Essex can’t wait. She and her husband, John, will be attending the first session, along with several of their friends. Kara has been seeing Massoth both for individual sessions and in group sessions for a year now.

“My husband and I are both working full time and raising children,” she says. “I think this is going to be a great way for us to take time out from our chaotic schedules and take some time to think about our relationship. Sharon is so intuitive about what’s going on, and so incredibly loving and truthful. I know that the men who come to the session are going to be amazed by her insights.”

As a certified professional coach, I work area residents and businesses to help increase the success and joy in their lives.

Primarily, I focus on increasing their intuition skills and positive attitudes to bring out their winning edge and magnetize their success in achieving goals. I often coach my clients on the power of gratitude to help them accomplish this process.

Below are a number of life issues that clients often face because they forget how to apply gratitude to promote positive outcomes in their lives.

Have you had ideas of fun adventures, great relationships, satisfying jobs or new possessions that you greatly desire yet can’t seem to create? Do you feel stuck?

I see a lot of people who are unhappy for the following:

1. They are not living a life of what they powerfully want.

2. They are not living a life that is expressing their unique talents.

What they are missing is making gratitude a key part of their lives.

You must first connect with a loving energy if you want to change the nature of anything. By finding and connecting with gratitude even in negative situations, you tap into a power that can result in healing and transformation. Fighting an undesirable situation only makes it worse, for that denies the positive, the learning that is within it.

Here are some ways to increase your ability to use gratitude to increase your joy and success.

The importance of positive thought has been written about for centuries. According to the writers of the film “The Secret” and authors Esther and Jerry Hicks of “The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent,” everyone can be a powerful creator of what they desire by holding positive intentions and feelings. Conversely, you can repel or slow down what you desire when you hold negative thoughts. For example, if you think and feel poor, you will continue to want. If you feel lonely, you attract more loneliness.

I like the idea of tweaking thoughts and feelings upward by reflecting on gratitude. I first allow full recognition of the negative state instead of repressing it. I then gradually move my feelings upward to a more positive one. Most of us can’t jump octaves, but we can let our fingers climb the scale one by one. The intention makes all the difference.

A lot of people constantly wish for aspects of their lives to be different and never feel content in the moment.

The worst thing you can do is squelch positive changes. People who find happiness in each day while naturally intending and working on new things succeed.

Below are three examples of how to be grateful for all the things that happen in our everyday life.

Gratitude for lessons learned

I always like to think that while my ego self goes kicking and screaming, my wiser, trusting soul sees the reason for all challenging events.

I feel a release followed by a deep peace when it all makes sense.

A recently divorced man told me that he changed his thinking from, “I hate that I married my wife. I have lost most of my life living with her,” to “I am grateful that I left that relationship. It was good for many years and then it was time to leave except I wasn’t strong enough. From dealing with my insecurities, I have learned how to have the strength to quickly end things that are less than what I want.”

Gratitude for feedback

Recently, it appears that few bosses, from corporate to military circles, are grateful for feedback. Jean Lipman-Blumen, author of “The Allure of Toxic Leaders” wrote, “Toxic leaders feed their followers the illusion that they are both omnipotent and omniscient,” decreasing their ability to receive feedback.

Leo Hindery, chairman of InterMedia Advisors, said chief executives “can easily surround themselves with subordinates who only affirm and seldom question.”

When you are grateful for feedback from all levels, you can ward off embarrassing mistakes. Gratitude for feedback reveals your true inner strength.

Gratitude for your uniqueness and courage

Be grateful for your unique contributions and style. Don’t waste your talents by not believing in yourself.

Lucinda Watson, author of “How They Achieved: Stories of Personal Achievement and Business Success,” included an interview with her late father, Thomas J. Watson Jr.: “I would tell young people starting out today to dare to do what they really want to do.ÊTo not be afraid. To try new things – even if they’re ultimately not successful. To be ready to see an opportunity and take a risk. I talked my father blue in the face about taking IBM public É obviously it was a good thing.”

Sharon Massoth offers intuitive life coaching in the Greenwich area to individuals and business leaders. She has been a motivational speaker at the Wainwright House in Rye, N.Y., and at leadership conferences. Reach her at massoth@comcast.net or www.sharonmassoth.net. She is a member of Greenwich Associates for Well-Being, an interdisciplinary group of independent practitioners collectively dedicated to promoting the awareness of and facilitating opportunities for holistic well-being. Contact Kimberly K. Kristoff, LMT, CRM, founder, with questions or information at GAFWB@yahoo.com.

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